Choices, choices, choices

My generation has more choices than ever before. 30 is the new 20. I'm not expected to buy a home, get married, or have babies yet. Or ever, if that's what I want. Or I could do it all tomorrow, if that's what I want. Isn't that incredible? We are actually free to do what we want - so why do people criticize others' decisions so freely? Don't we all just want to be happy and fulfilled? And shouldn't we take advantage of these new freedoms to figure out how best to live our lives?

I've been on a Yahoo group for Peace Corps volunteers/people who are interested in the Peace Corps and many of them have complained about how their families and friends aren't excited about them joining the Peace Corps. They fall into two camps - the "why aren't you settling down?" camp and the "why would you want to live in Africa?" camp. Thank goodness that all my friends are either a. doing something crazier or b. able to understand why I'd want to go.

Something else I've noticed on the group is that people who are joining the Peace Corps seem unnecessarily derogatory towards their friends who made more mainstream life choices - especially women towards other women. One person wrote that she thought there had to be more to life than saving for retirement and having babies. Well, I think there is more to life. But I also think that saving for retirement is important! And I can't wait to havea bunch of children some day. And, of course, there's the marriage issue. One size does not fit all when making important life decisions. For example...

My dear friend Heidi is married and owns a home in Wisconsin. She's a real adult. Even though she needs to find a new job where they appreciate her, I know that she's happy and has made great decisions. She married a wonderful man who absolutely adores her and she feels the same way. Meanwhile, I'm paying rent and living with roommates and planning to leave the US for up to 3 years, depending on how much traveling I want to do at the end of my service.

The beautiful thing about our friendship is that I know that we are both truly proud of one another and that we both take great joy in each other's decisions and happiness. So why all the derision from the people on the Yahoo group? Why have their friends been so negative about the Peace Corps, or moving to a developing country in general? Does it arise out of insecurity about their own life decisions? Do we have too many choices and not enough guidance?

I think that women in general need to do a better job of being supportive of one another. The women who made our choices possible wanted us to be fulfilled - and we shouldn't be criticizing each other's choices, but rejoicing that we were able to make choices in the first place!

Well, I have plenty of time to figure out why this problem still occurs. In the meantime I will just count my blessings - that I have a wonderful support system of well-traveled friends who have kindly offered to send cans of tuna and People magazine and who will be waiting with martini shakers for my return!

PS - I actually really have loved the Yahoo group and have appreciated all the advice. This was just something I happened to really disagree with a bunch of members on.