Is there evil? There is no evil here.

Oh, greetings in Pulaar. What a riot. Have you slept well? How are the babies? On and on and on. So far Pulaar is practically impossible - I just have too much going on to remember the structure and words for a new language. Oh, well. I have 2 years to figure it out. One thing pisses me off about Pulaar, though. There are 2 numbers for everything - one for people and the other for counting anything else. But when you are talking about wives you use the number for objects, not the number for people. How eff'ed up is that? I'm so glad I'm an American woman - it's not always easy but at least we aren't actually treated/referred to as objects!

So I'm 2 weeks done with practice school and it's been pretty good. Yesterday my 11th graders had a test and it was a bit dramatic. Guineans are cheaters. It's part of the culture. Trying to keep the kids from cheating is like trying to get Britney to leave Kevin and get back in shape. Pretty much impossible. So I have them put everything at the front of the classroom except pens and 1 piece of paper each. I give them my test rules in English and French. Then the test starts. One girl keeps complaining that she can't see the test on the board, so I tell her to move up a few desks. She's walking funny and I realize she has papers hidden in her pagne (W. African sarong). I kick her out. She seems mad. She's an idiot. Then I notice that another girl has written some words in chalk on the floor at her desk. She got minus 5 cause she hadn't even spelled them all properly. It was all very annoying and I'm not looking forward to giving tests at site, even though I really like teaching.

I made a little list of things to mention on the blog. They are in no particular order...

• Boobs are knees and knees are boobs. I see boobs all the time. I am not allowed to walk around my house in shorts. Knees are highly sexual here. And white boobs. But black boobs are not. Considering how fricking hot it is here, this is a source of annoyance for me, since my sisters can wander around topless and I'm stuck in long skirts and t-shirts.
• Everything we've been told Guineans don't do happens in the dance clubs. I saw dancing that made me blush. We have been told that we can't even touch members of the opposite sex here. By the time I left the dance club last Saturday I swear it was about to become an orgy. How these crazy teenagers turn into African Mamas with boobs down to their ankles and giant boubous on their bodies is beyond me.
• We haven't had much electricity lately. We've been joking that it's been sick. Last Saturday it came on for less than 10 seconds - we hadn't even finished cheering that it had come on when it left again! It's so dark without the electricity that I truly can't see anything - especially since it's the rainy season and it's cloudy or raining most nights. But on clear nights the stars are incredible.
• Last Saturday Camilo and I made faux-fettuccine alfredo for Cam's family and my 2 sisters. It was delicious and they are still talking about it. I think we are going to try and recreate it for my family tomorrow - we also made garlic bread and it was a huge hit. I love the French for leaving baguettes behind. Who knew that butter, flour, garlic, Laughing Cow cheese, pepper and milk could be so incredible? Not me.
• There is a river where we can swim and it has one of the prettiest views you can imagine - I'm going to try and take a picture before I leave. It's so quiet there and the water is so refreshing. You can see the mountains and palm trees and it's just gorgeous.
• All the baby chickens at my house died. We must have had 20 of them. At first I thought, Oh, sh*t. Avian Flu!! But no. It rained for over 24 hours straight and my sisters promise that that's what made them sick. But I know where my Tamiflu is. :) At least my house is quieter now, the squawking was getting on my nerves. The sheep is still living with us, though. And the 5 or so adult chickens.
• I've made peace with the following in my room: crickets and spiders. I still kill the cockroaches. So far I have not come in contact with rats, mice or bats, but they occasionally have Mouse Olympics in my ceiling and wake me up in the middle of the night. But if I can't see them it doesn't make me cry.
• Kids here have a lot of questions about sex. We have Cafe Lang a few times, where students come and talk to us - it's good for our French practice and they like to ask questions about America. But, Lord, they like to ask about sex. AWKWARD. Sometimes I just pretend like my French isn't good enough to understand - like when I was told that I just needed to move to the floor if I wanted to have sex at my house and was worried that people would hear...
• Practice school is going well, except for the cheating/test thing. I still like teaching. We only have one week left and then it's the home stretch to swearing in and moving to site. I'll miss Forecariah and my family but am excited to finally meet my real students and get settled into my house. I'm also looking forward to cooking for myself - not having any control over any aspect of my life is starting to get annoying!
• I've been teaching the kids on the street my African name - Fatou Soumah. Otherwise they yell "Fote! Fote! Fote!" in a higher and higher pitch. It leaves me wanting to smack them, but I love it when they yell my name. Makes me feel like a Guinean celebrity.
• I don't miss: electricity 24/7, flushing toilets (I actually like latrines...they are surprisingly clean), cell phones (but I'm still gonna buy one), looking in a mirror, driving, summer heat and smell of NYC, working 50+ hour weeks, Enron, television (but that's only until Grey's is back. Then I'll be sad.)
• I do miss: family, friends, any and all food, comfy couches and Stoli Razz and Sprites.

I'll be back to post again in a week or two. Keep sending me emails! And a special shout-out to Rachel for being the first non-family member to send me a package. I'm glad to know that Nick Lachey is still in the news. And that Tom and Katie's baby still doesn't exist.